How many times have you heard this phrase and in what contexts? It is widely used in England. Hello everybody! Today I want to write about resilience, courage, perseverance, tenacity, tolerance, our power to stay mentally present, focusing on what we want to achieve. When you feel tired and consider giving up, these phrases may encourage you to keep going. Don't stop “Everything is going to be fine in the end. If it's not fine it's not the end. ” One of my favorite John Lennon phrases. Basically, don’t give up. Hold on to the idea that everything will be fine. If things don't go well, it's because you haven't "finished". One of my best coaching teachers said, "As long as you continue, you can't fail, you can only give up." If you don’t give up, if you keep going, trying one way or another (remember the trilogy I introduced in a previous article *: goals, flexibility, feedback), you just haven’t reached your goal yet. Sometimes it takes time and effort. Choose the pace that works for you and keep going, don't stop. Feed your mind Your mind needs positive input. In addition to needing a clear, positive goal (of what you want, not what you don’t want) that motivates you, make sure you have regular doses of positive thoughts. Your probability of success is proportional to the quality of your thoughts, thoughts are the fuel of your mind, to make comparisons, to draw conclusions, etc. There are so many sources of information, I don't know which ones to select. Some ideas are https://www.success.com/positive-thoughts-positive-results/ https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTCS_06.htm Nourish your body Athletes' bodies need good "fuel" to reach the finish line. And yours too! When we are busy or "worried", it is easy to skip a meal or eat "anything". If you invest time in nourishing your body, putting good "fuel" in it, you will be less tired, you will have more energy, you will concentrate better .. you will last longer, you will give more. Expand your limits Often doing the same thing over and over again is not enough. You probably need some kind of growth or development, to be able to do something more tomorrow, than you could do yesterday. Look for a way to grow. Some suggestions are sport (improve physical endurance with exercise, to develop mental endurance), have a ritual of reflection to learn from our experiences (writing a diary, report or equivalent), visualization exercises that help us generate alternatives, in any situation. Remember that the challenges you face now are temporary. Choose a goal that is important and meaningful to you and do whatever it takes to achieve it. Find ways to succeed, learn, and reach your goal. Remember, if you can imagine something, you can find a way to make it a reality. https://www.successconsciousness.com/blog/law-of-attraction/imagination-reality/

Add to that the filter of what is important: We cannot turn our attention to everything around us, the brain needs to prioritise and discard something! When we focus on what is happening to us, about the results we get with what we do, we can think about the results as a consequence of our actions and actions as a consequence of our emotions, our thoughts and our beliefs. If any change distresses us, sometimes it is because we feel threatened and the amygdala "is kidnapping us." The branch of psychology called Neuroscience, explains that the neocortex is the part of the brain where we process rational thoughts and the amygdala where we manage feelings. (Obviously this is a simplification). The most important thing about this explanation of neuroscience is that we sometimes react to what is happening to us directly with the amygdala, without using the rational part of our brain. This is bad because we often react disproportionately and without using many of the resources at our disposal. Font https://www.pinterest.com/pin/460844974371699621/ When our lives are in danger, we do well to run away, fight or freeze. In other circumstances, the best we can do is take a deep breath and try to engage our rational thinking as soon as possible. How is it done? The recommendation I have heard most often is to do meditation regularly. Meditation is good practice for reacting by breathing deeply and beginning to direct attention to what is happening, for example counting breaths, trying to slow down breathing. Your goal at this point is to start using rational thinking and getting as much oxygen as possible. "Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedom is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." VIKTOR FRANKL This quote is one of my favorites. Victor Frankl wrote a book after surviving a concentration camp, "Man's search for meaning". He was a neurologist and found a way to direct his attention and manage his attitude in the most constructive way possible. In conclusion, there are often decisions in our hands, the question is: which one do we make? [make no mistake, not deciding is also a decision!). If you want to contact me, remember that my address is ara.adipiscing@gmail.com Until next time! .

Hello everybody! How are you? Today I would like to write about the subject of flexibility, which is related to the subject of uncertainty. Today there is a lot of uncertainty, partly due to the evolution of technology, partly due to political instability, partly due to the evolution of society (for example it being easier to separate, having more single mothers). .. not to mention the current pandemic 😏 When I did my first coaching training at the end of 2008, they taught me some basics, I was told me about a coaching model that I now want to share with you. Coaching is a conversation or interventions (that is, it can be part of a conversation) in which the coach directs the client's attention with questions or gives feedback that allows the client to gain clarity of what she/he wants, improves her/his determination to achieve. it, or simply the awareness of what works or what doesn’t work. This type of conversation has a structure (led by the coach), but the content is determined exclusively by what interests or worries the client and what he/she wants to talk about. Confidence and openness are needed so that the client does not feel “intruded” in the conversation. Given all this, the coaching relationship is based on three pillars: goals, flexibility, and feedback. The conversation has a purpose. The client has goals he/she wants to achieve. They need to be clear and have a time limit, they need to depend on our actions and we need to be completely aligned with the consequences. How to achieve the goals can be discussed. Depending on our learning preferences, our priorities, our personal style (conversation, negotiation, time management, etc.) we will try certain mental strategies, techniques and exercises. We will get to know each other better, acquire new tools to manage our emotions, gain clarity in our goals and precision in our actions. Learning is the third piece. Feedback is the tool of this learning. When we do ‘x’, what happens? How do others react? What results do we achieve? And these three pillars create a cyclical and fluid dynamic. When we review the results, we do more of what works and less of what doesn’t (if we are aware of it and still want to get the same results). As we achieve results, we sometimes gain perspective on the situation and change our minds or set other goals. When one thing doesn't work, let's try something else. What does all this have to do with uncertainty? Uncertainty is reduced with research, development and, above all, with flexibility. Minimise uncertainty, gain flexibility Do you feel trapped? Generate options When you are faced with a situation in which it seems that the only alternative is to do something or nothing, try to generate more alternatives, if you find one that you like more. Brainstorm, ask for recommendations or find out what others have done in a similar situations. It is often interesting to do all three things. Too many options? Decide a criterion to filter them There are many ways to choose, what "makes sense", what "seems" a good option (using our intuition). It is always interesting to ask: What will happen if I do this? What will happen if I don’t do that? What wouldn’t happen if I did this? What wouldn’t happen if I didn’t do that? The idea is to try to discover our "blind spots", what we do not see of ourselves and gain clarity in our choices, our preferences. Consider the quality of life When you make decisions, try to improve your quality of life or that of those around you. It's tempting to look for immediate gratification, or some kind of short-term benefit ... but some of these options can affect your long-term life, and consequently be unsustainable. Be clear about your priorities How many times have you done something because you were asked to and felt compelled to do so? Either you wanted to please someone, or look good. When you force yourself to do things, you may end up regretting it. How about if you take some time to make sure you want to take action, which would be the best option? Give it your best Attempts without drive or conviction often produce poor results. On the other hand, when you give it your all, you always win. Because you get what you set out to do or because you grow with the experience. From my point of view both results are beneficial! Imagine the difference it would make to try these suggestions, in case of uncertainty, and how you would gain confidence when moving forward.

Good morning everyone! I spent a few days thinking about how to deal with the topic of transitions. Gail Sheehy wrote a book called "Passages" which became very famous, and now there are many more ... new versions and also versions adapted to the transitions that men and caregivers go through, for example. The fact is that all cultures and the development of human nature are based on transitions. Transitions are very similar for people from the same culture and therefore can be predicted. For example the transition from stopping breastfeeding and feeding only on “solids”, stopping to use diapers (and learning to control our sphincters), going to daycare (and not just being looked after by our family), puberty (leaving childhood behind), going from primary to high school or college, having sex, first job, motherhood, returning to work after motherhood, menopause , when a loved one dies, achieve physical / sporting goals. I have tried to make a list to illustrate how present and normal transitions are. What I would also like to emphasize is that being predictable means that we can prepare (or we can prepare the person we are with, for example our children). The other side of the coin is that we can also seek help / support / someone to accompany us, when we know we need to go through a transition, become aware of what we may need. Some coaches specialise in transitions, prepare you to look for work, accompany you when you return to work after maternity leave, support cancer survivors who return to "normal" life. Another word related to this topic is "phase", when there is a transition roadmap, consequently there are periods between transition and transition. These are the phases. Some phases are cyclical (such as the changes we can observe on the moon, which are repeated over and over again), but many have an origin, a period with a specific behavior, and an end. Knowing that the phases will be over can be very helpful. For example, when we are having a bad time, it can comfort us to know that our “suffering” is temporary. We can direct our mind towards this better future, imagine what it will be like, prepare ourselves to enjoy it to the fullest. When we go through a good period in our life and know that it will not last forever, this knowledge can stimulate us to take advantage of the present, perhaps by taking photos, writing a diary, finding a way to keep the experience in our mind. What do we advise you about transitions? Read the Persian fable “This too shall pass” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_too_shall_pass#:~:text=Origin%20of%20the%20fable,-The%20fable%20retold&text=Its%20origin%20has% 20been% 20traced, Sanai% 20and% 20Attar% 20of% 20Nishapur. & Text = After% 20deliberation% 20the% 20sages% 20hand, happy% 20when% 20he% 20is% 20sad . When you are having a bad time, remember that the phase you are in will end. Focus on learning as much as you can from the experience, to make the most of it. There are many lessons in life and even bad times can be enriching. Being able to approach life with this mindset can, in some cases, help "make time go by faster." In any case, remember that what you are going through is not forever. Get ready for the transitions When you have a challenge, try to imagine the next stage, for example anticipating how good things will be or who you will be with. Just thinking positively will help. It alters your ability to perceive and allows you to see and conceive opportunities that you would not otherwise have seen. Use the good moments to recharge your batteries, rest and prepare your body for the effort it will have to make. Take advantage of the good phases Unfortunately the good phases do not last forever. Enjoy them to the fullest, take advantage of them. In England some people say “dance like no one is watching”. There is a process of "letting go" in which we completely share what we have inside. It is important to share good times with those around us. Look for support A friend, a family member, a coach who listens to you, allows you to hear your thoughts, asks you questions which can help you find new or alternative perspectives. That is super valuable. Do you want to talk to me? Where are you going now? We are what we eat, we are what we think, we are what we smile, some what we love. Imagine that the phases you go through are a gift / a blessing. Even if we have some bumps, who knows? If we look at our lives as a whole, we can often appreciate the role that each phase has played in our path, in our development.

The objective of this blog is to share concepts from the worlds of coaching with lovers of fruit, health and sport. Hello everyone, My name is Ara and I am a coach. My first coaching training took place in London, at the end of 2008, and I have been working part time as a coach until today. Coaching is a conversation, a way of being present with one person or more where I act like an orchestra “conductor”, directing the format of the conversation, not its content. We talk about whatever the ‘client’ wants, but the questions I use stimulate reflection about the message being shared, the self-talk and how we interpret what happens or what we are told. When there is a coaching contract, objectives are established and coachee and coach co-actively work towards them in a specific timeframe. The beauty of this relationship stems from the belief that the client has the ability to achieve his/her goals, they are not impaired or need fixing. The intention of this fortnightly blog is to share concepts from the worlds of coaching with lovers of fruit, health and sport. Your mental state, your attitude, your happiness, your beliefs (religion notwithstanding!) and mental strategies will be as important as your nutrition and sport (or more, from my point of view). Write to me at ara.adipiscing@gmail.com if you would like to request a specific topic in these articles or ask any questions, I will do my best to take these requests into account. In this first blog, I would like to explore the relationship between attitude and health. Similarly to how meditation directs your attention to breathing and leaving your mind blank, a positive attitude directs your mind towards opportunities in the present or future, transforming ideas and opportunities into reality. Actually, we are in a position to claim that our immune system benefits from this positive outlook. (source: https://www.uq.edu.au/news/article/2014/09/positive-boost-immune-system#:~:text=A%20positive%20attitude%20can%20improve,to%20have%20stronger%20immune%20systems.) The question is, regardless of how you are feeling now and what thoughts you are having (hopefully positive), can you feel better and be happier? Look after yourself 1. Keep a positive attitude This too shall pass. When things go wrong, remember that this is a temporary situation and make a conscious effort to imagine a wonderful future. One of my coaching teachers always encouraged us to aim for the moon. Even if you don’t arrive, he would say, at the very least you will end among the stars. I am a fan of making plans and enjoying the journey on the way to my objectives. I can’t imagine a better way to live. When things go well, think about how they can go even better (for you and your dear ones). 2. Establish good habits "We are what we do", said Aristotle. What do you do habitually and what do you sporadically? Having an ice cream once upon a time, or a bit of chocolate, will probably cheer you up and won’t necessarily make you put on weight. Have an ice cream three times a day during six months and see what happens. On the other hand, go for a walk every day.. Or do a little bit of sport and you will see how your life transforms completely. Daily habits are a transition between our present and our future. Every bite, every step, every decision. There is no need to be perfect the whole time, however do take the time to be mindful and make decisions, make plans. It’s important to be aware of what options are available to us and make mindful choices. What can you do regularly that will translate into better well-being? 3. Be constructive with your problems Epictetus said "It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." When you have a problem, do you get angry and take it out on others? Do you feel offended and look for ways to “teach others lessons” or pay it back? None of these reactions help you create a better future. Being constructive means learning from what works today and evolve the conditions of our circumstances to make it easier to have a better tomorrow. 4. You are you One of my favorite children’s books is by Dr. Seuss. One of the most famous phrases begins with "you are you": “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you. ” (source https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/3160-today-you-are-you-that-is-truer-than-true-there) We often think that we are missing something, compared to those around us — or that others are better than us in some condition or circumstance. Many a time this is a lack of confidence and a bit of envy ;-) These thoughts abound in many people and (surprise!) are time and again unfortunately incorrect (not true). My coaching teacher encouraged everyone to develop a sense of gratitude for being ourselves. To nurture and develop a feeling of gratitude, it is a very good guide on our path. This way you will allow yourself to be you ... after all you are unique! Who are you? What do you want? In the next post we can talk about self-knowledge and values. Are you interested?

Hello everybody! How are you? I hope you enjoy these blogs, I am enjoying writing them. Today I would like to talk about awareness and the role it plays in our well-being. Let’s start by talking about wellness. What is well-being * for you *? Why do I ask? Because the context of coaching is not about transmitting knowledge, it’s not about my telling you what well-being is, it’s about your being aware of and respecting your priorities. Well-being for you can be going for a walk, meditating, eating healthy, exercising, sleeping well, being calm ... And all the answers are "correct". What is yours? Be careful not to define one thing by calling the absence of another. An example in this context would be to define well-being as "the absence of stress". In this case there are two problems with this answer, the first is that you say what you don’t want, not what you want (alert!). The second is that the answer does not recognize that stress has a function and that it should not be completely eliminated, it should be managed. When we feel threatened, the brain sends messages to our body and affects our breathing, temperature, sweating and so on. It also deactivates the neocortex (the rational part of the brain), so that only the limbic system remains (which is called the emotional part of the brain). This part gives pre-conditioned answers (the famous "fight, flight or freeze"). When people talk about stress, it usually means that there is too much stress. I just want you to remember that a little is good, and it actually helps us get into a state of flux reference: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F478859372857994408%2F&psig=AOvVaw1uzOG2l8tU9Shy1uf1wynk&ust=1599573479146000&Q&A In terms of well-being, I would now like to introduce the concept of resistance to adverse situations. It is super fashionable in England to talk about "resilience" which according to the American Psychological Association is 'the process of adapting well to situations of aversion, trauma, tragedy, threat of large doses of stress' . I find this word translated as elasticity or resistance in other languages. Reference https://uncw.edu/studentaffairs/committees/pdc/documents/the%20road%20to%20resilience.pdf I think it’s a good translation because it’s not a protection but the development of our ability to “bounce back” from an adverse situation, It is curious because in English there are many words to speak of consciousness. To begin with, I think there is also awareness and mindfulness. They are slightly different. Mindfulness is understood more as "observation without criticism, a compassionate state with yourself," Mark Williams and Danny Penman claim that the state of mindfulness allows you to realize when you enter cycles of negative thoughts before “falling into the pit” and keeping you in control of your life (see this reference http://franticworld.com/what-is-mindfulness/). The word awareness is used more when you realize the presence or existence of something. Why am I introducing all of these concepts at once? What a mess! I’m doing this because improving our awareness allows us to be more resilient and resiistant to adversity and thus take care of our long-term health. How to be more elastic? Being more aware of our response to change, of how we behave Being predisposed to develop and learn Taking risks with a sense of confidence in our ability to manage the consequences of those risks Seeing change as a challenge to overcome (not as a source of fear) Focusing our thoughts, feelings and behavior towards overcoming these challenges Maintaining a positive image of the future (our goal / destination) and acting to make it a reality What do you pay attention to? What habits do you have? What do you prioritize? What are your goals? Take care and see you soon :)