Hello everybody!
How are you?
Today I would like to write about the subject of flexibility, which is related to the subject of uncertainty.
Today there is a lot of uncertainty, partly due to the evolution of technology, partly due to political instability, partly due to the evolution of society (for example it being easier to separate, having more single mothers). .. not to mention the current pandemic 😏
When I did my first coaching training at the end of 2008, they taught me some basics, I was told me about a coaching model that I now want to share with you.
Coaching is a conversation or interventions (that is, it can be part of a conversation) in which the coach directs the client's attention with questions or gives feedback that allows the client to gain clarity of what she/he wants, improves her/his determination to achieve. it, or simply the awareness of what works or what doesn’t work.
This type of conversation has a structure (led by the coach), but the content is determined exclusively by what interests or worries the client and what he/she wants to talk about. Confidence and openness are needed so that the client does not feel “intruded” in the conversation.
Given all this, the coaching relationship is based on three pillars: goals, flexibility, and feedback.
The conversation has a purpose. The client has goals he/she wants to achieve. They need to be clear and have a time limit, they need to depend on our actions and we need to be completely aligned with the consequences.
How to achieve the goals can be discussed. Depending on our learning preferences, our priorities, our personal style (conversation, negotiation, time management, etc.) we will try certain mental strategies, techniques and exercises. We will get to know each other better, acquire new tools to manage our emotions, gain clarity in our goals and precision in our actions.
Learning is the third piece. Feedback is the tool of this learning. When we do ‘x’, what happens? How do others react? What results do we achieve?
And these three pillars create a cyclical and fluid dynamic. When we review the results, we do more of what works and less of what doesn’t (if we are aware of it and still want to get the same results). As we achieve results, we sometimes gain perspective on the situation and change our minds or set other goals. When one thing doesn't work, let's try something else.
What does all this have to do with uncertainty?
Uncertainty is reduced with research, development and, above all, with flexibility.
- Minimise uncertainty, gain flexibility
Do you feel trapped? Generate options
When you are faced with a situation in which it seems that the only alternative is to do something or nothing, try to generate more alternatives, if you find one that you like more.
Brainstorm, ask for recommendations or find out what others have done in a similar situations. It is often interesting to do all three things.
- Too many options? Decide a criterion to filter them
There are many ways to choose, what "makes sense", what "seems" a good option (using our intuition).
It is always interesting to ask:
What will happen if I do this?
What will happen if I don’t do that?
What wouldn’t happen if I did this?
What wouldn’t happen if I didn’t do that?
The idea is to try to discover our "blind spots", what we do not see of ourselves and gain clarity in our choices, our preferences.
- Consider the quality of life
When you make decisions, try to improve your quality of life or that of those around you.
It's tempting to look for immediate gratification, or some kind of short-term benefit ... but some of these options can affect your long-term life, and consequently be unsustainable.
- Be clear about your priorities
How many times have you done something because you were asked to and felt compelled to do so? Either you wanted to please someone, or look good.
When you force yourself to do things, you may end up regretting it. How about if you take some time to make sure you want to take action, which would be the best option?
Attempts without drive or conviction often produce poor results. On the other hand, when you give it your all, you always win. Because you get what you set out to do or because you grow with the experience. From my point of view both results are beneficial!
Imagine the difference it would make to try these suggestions, in case of uncertainty, and how you would gain confidence when moving forward.